


the center must hold

by wheetato (capaldi)



Category: EXID (Band)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 15:25:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13720536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capaldi/pseuds/wheetato
Summary: When they're asked about life before their popularity surge, they always answer with how positive they were. How the positivity is what got them through the hard times. They don’t talk about the small ways they were all breaking down.





	the center must hold

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted to write ot5 okay

Heeyeon is the worst drunk. It’s unanimous, not that they ever voted on it.

 _I try to hold it I swear,_ she’ll whine. Hyelin reminds her of the last time they left a huge tip for the vomity mess she incurred.

They don’t stop making fun of her for it, and Heeyeon doesn’t stop throwing up after five drinks. But they do start picking up on the signs. Sometimes she’ll let out a few too many consecutive burps. Other times she’ll be blinking like camera shutters at a fansign. Nine out of ten times, they manage to hustle her to the bathroom before anything catastrophic happens.

To be fair, half of the trouble is Hyojin’s fault (or all of it, as Heeyeon would argue). She has a knack for spotting empty glasses, and won’t take no for an answer despite numerous protests from the table ( _You’re responsible for the aftermath,_ Solji warns her).

If you ask Hyojin, she doesn’t even like drinking. From the first time she tasted soju at the age of twelve - when her dad secretly let her take a sip behind her mom’s back - it’s evolved from the taste of antiseptic to a liquid necessity at social gatherings. It’s not about what you drink, it’s about who you drink it with.

And one look to her left, where Heeyeon’s doing her worst imitation of their dance instructor, Hyojin thinks this entire table here, shrieking laughter and all, are the best drinking companions she’ll ever find.

Heeyeon especially, when she’s not laughing with her head swung back, has always been refreshingly honest. And surprisingly, the trait carries well to the variety world, making her an instant star. Relatable, down to earth, easy going, are the labels that always follow Heeyeon around but Hyojin knows better. Out there she’s always cautious. Honest yes, but a crafted honesty where she throws her words with precision and weight, and not without thought for consequence. It used to be that she reserves Hani for the stage and Heeyeon for the members. But lately, that off switch is becoming less and less accessible.

That’s where the soju comes in. The veil is lifted, and Heeyeon starts talking instead of Hani and sometimes it’s bad jokes and nonsensical rambles - other times Hyojin weighs in on the introspective side of Heeyeon who asks her what if she’d pursued her studies instead. Instead of all _this._ Would she be happier?

Sometimes it’s questions, other times it’s just statements, and Hyojin doesn’t always have a response. But when Heeyeon mumbles a soft “thanks for listening” the next morning across breakfast, Hyojin gives her hand a quick squeeze.

And sometimes, she just likes seeing Heeyeon drunk, that stupid delirious smile plastered across her face, laughing at something equally dumb and innocuous without a care in the world.

 

\---

 

_If you had to choose one member to back you up in a fight, who would it be?_

It’s a question tossed at Hyojin during a fanmeet and the crowd is already chanting Hani.

“Hyelin,” she answers, without missing a beat, and the other members start arguing over her member choice. Hyelin raises her arms in victory.

Junghwa’s already throwing it in her face about how _LE unnie always calls me her favorite I guess that’s the last time I trust those words._ Solji’s bringing out the unnie card like always because _yah, you don’t trust your unnie to have your back?_ Heeyeon just snorts in that really unattractive way and laughs along.

But it’s Hyelin for her, any way you cut it. It’s not about strength or loyalty and definitely not for the finger hearts Hyelin’s throwing her way. It’s because the only one more level-headed than herself is Hyelin.

When they're asked about life before their popularity surge, they always answer with how positive they were. How the positivity is what got them through the hard times. They don’t talk about the small ways they were all breaking down. Junghwa had seen every drama on air, _twice._ Solji was avoiding her mom’s calls to give the pretense that she was busy. They find Heeyeon’s death note in the trash once. She tells them blankly to leave it there, but it mysteriously finds itself on her bed the next morning.

And herself, Hyojin would stay up nights staring at blank tracks on her screen, hands never once touching the keyboard. Because what was the point of making music if no one was listening.

Hyelin though, was always at the studio. Rehearsing her part in their tracks over and over until Solji warns her to stop stressing her throat.

It’s not like the rest of them slacked off either. They were always in and out of the practice rooms, always ready for the moment their careers suddenly take off. Hyelin just stayed later and longer than all of them

“Why do you try so hard,” Hyojin blurts out once, when the rest of them were spilling into the studio, rubbing the morning grogginess out of their eyes. Hyelin had been there long before the rest of them.

“What else can I do,” she answers nonchalantly. “All I can do is sharpen my vocals, the one thing I bring to the group.” Hyojin starts to refute that claim but Hyelin cuts her off. “It’s okay. I know who I am, and I know I’m pretty even if the rest of Korea doesn’t agree.”

They’re all some level of brutally honest but Hyelin is unmatched in this sense. Sure, ninety percent of the time she’s all terrible puns and awful diction but when it comes to it, no one lays down the truth like Seo Hyelin.

“Yah, Ahn LE,” Solji calls out. “We’re asking you why you picked Hyelin.

She takes one look at Hyelin, who’s now making a heart with her arms and bursts out in laughter.

“Because I wanted to.”

 

\---

 

From the moment Junghwa introduces herself, Hyojin knows she’s the visual. A pretty face like that, well we can’t all win the genetic lottery.

But a pretty face like that, she’d expected her to be timid. The same type of reserved personality that goes hand in hand with that sort of face.

Instead Junghwa’s incredibly bright and _loud_ , in an annoyingly high pitched way. She talks too much and always without a filter. Hyojin invites her to lower her speech on their first day and Junghwa switches to banmal within the same sentence, like it’s just been sitting on the tip of her tongue.

But that expression, don’t judge a book by its cover, Junghwa has it in spades. The cheeriness is annoying at first, because she carries it everywhere. Sometimes Hyojin just wants to vent after being reamed out by their staff. She doesn’t want to be told by a smile and an upbeat voice that they’ll do better next time and that everything will be okay.

But that sort of optimism, it’s pervasive. It seeps in, latches on, and soon Hyojin finds herself matching Junghwa smile for smile, even during those really long, long days of practice.

It changes her, being around someone like that. Hyojin has always preferred working alone. It’s about putting a wall between her and the rest of the world, a sort of safe space where her mind can wander until it finds the right lyrics, the right beats. Junghwa though, doesn’t just break that wall - she catapults over it. Always in Hyojin’s space, looking over her shoulder while she works, with endless questions at her disposal. What’s she working on? What sort of sound is it? Could she take a listen? What’s this button for? Hyojin drags her out of the room more times than she can count.

But you can’t stop someone like Junghwa. She always comes back, armed with more questions than before. Sometimes she comes bearing coffee and snacks, the sweetest smile on her face as she asks if she can come in. Other times she’ll barge in right when Hyojin’s on the verge of a breakthrough, and unapologetically start talking about the dream she had the other night and what it could mean.

Hyojin goes through stages of Junghwa. Frustration, exasperation, resignation. And one day, it just becomes routine. Junghwa chats animatedly in the background, about her day, their recent event, or the drama she’s following, and Hyojin would hum the tune of the latest song she’s working on as her fingers dance across the mixer. Junghwa’s voice, the quirky inflections in her speech, her habitual pacing back and forth - it transforms from a minor annoyance to a sort of necessity. Hyojin realizes she works better with her there.

So sometimes she’ll ask Junghwa to keep her company as she works, in a tone that struggles not to betray her own neediness. She’s not sure if Junghwa ever notices, but she never objects.

And when there’s a roadblock, when Hyojin’s frustrations emerge in the form of keyboard smashes and half yells, the background chatter would stop and she’d feel arms looping around her neck, cheek nuzzled against her own. Soft whispers of encouragement in her ear.

It calms her more than she’d like to admit.

The fans coin them Tom and Jerry, or maybe they did, Hyojin doesn’t know. But she does love to tease Junghwa, loves getting a rise out of her. Loves being the instigator for those yelps and shrieks of terror. She starts carrying a rubber cockroach in her purse.

Then there’s the other sort of love. She loves holding Junghwa’s hand, loves dishing out back hugs, loves when Junghwa has to lean close to hear what Hyojin has to say.

In her heart, there’s a place for that four letter word. There’s also a place for Junghwa.

 

\---

 

Truth be told, she wasn’t sure they’d make it through another comeback without Solji.

They could cover her parts sure. They’re all a bit sorry to Hyelin, who has to carry the biggest load with Solji’s absence. Some notes they decide, for the sake of Hyelin’s sanity, would be better left lip synced.

With Night Rather Than Day, Hyojin had to do some mental gymnastics to compose a title track that wasn’t too vocally strenuous since she’s pretty sure Hyelin has a healthy murder streak in her. It works out, and they get to try something new. Heeyeon likes it a lot, gets to bring out her low and sultry voice for a change.

Solji watches all of their stages. Tells them that they’re doing well with their new concept, how cool they look in their ending pose. She sends a video of her laughing when Hyelin appears in front of the camera during Heeyeon’s solo part on stage.

The promotion schedule is pretty rough and has them all busy enough that they don’t have the time to see Solji much. They text almost everyday though, and never forget to mention her during their multiple wins through the promotion cycle.

It’s more than just the main vocalist missing, or the leader. Hyojin’s handling the logistics okay as a temporary substitute, but there’s something larger that’s lacking.

“She’s the lynchpin,” Heeyeon points out once.

And it hits Hyojin, how true it is. A laugh that outdecibals Junghwa at times. Tears that flow at the slightest touching gesture from a fan. A voice that conveys emotions in myriads. A hand that doesn’t just link with other hands but hearts too. She’s the thread that keeps them together.

And of course, the best of friends and amazing confidante. Because Solji could always spot when she was down even when Hyojin’s own mother missed it in her voice.

Maybe that’s why it hurt so much to read the comments. There’s a lot of positive comments too, wishing Solji a speedy recovery and patiently waiting for her return. But it’s the hate that squeezes its way through the pile of positivity that stays on their mind. _Wow, is Solji leaving EXID? Is Solji just taking a vacation and having fun? Does Solji enjoy leeching off EXID’s profits like that?_

Heeyeon gets furious seeing them every time, yelling through their group chat when she’s not there to yell in person. Junghwa’s silent when she reads them, because if she spoke, the tremble in her voice would give her away. Hyelin just sighs and X-s out of the window.

Hyojin worries about Solji, they all do. Whenever they ask how she feels about those comments, she reassures them that she’s fine. That she doesn’t feel hurt because they’re just words. That the thing that hurts her most is not being able to stand on stage with them right now.

Hyojin’s never prayed. She doesn’t even know how to. And Heeyeon is equally unhelpful on this matter.

But sometimes at night, she whispers to the ceiling, to herself, to no one, and prays for Solji to get better. Prays for all the hurt to stop.

 

\---

 

The fans have waited a year and a half. _They’ve_ waited a year and half. But it’s finally here, all five of them for a comeback.

Solji’s basically cosplaying Junghwa backstage, constantly fidgeting and unable to stand still.

“You’re gonna be fine unnie,” Hyelin reassures her as Heeyeon pats her on the back in agreement.

“You’re gonna kill the high note right?” Junghwa prods, as Hyelin swats for her to shush and suddenly the maknaes are at it between _don’t pressure her_ and _I was trying to encourage her dumbass._

Hyojin takes her hand and gives it a squeeze.

“Nothing’s changed. We’re just going back to who we are.”

Solji looks back at her, and then at the maknaes arguing and Heeyeon half playing referee, half willing participant.

“No, we’re heading towards something new. Something better.”

Before Hyojin could respond, the song ends and the previous group scutters off stage. The lights dim, and the staff beckons them forward.

Five minds, five hearts, five hands meeting in the center for one final cheer.

In unison, they step on stage.

  
  


 


End file.
